Whispers
by K.Krum
Summary: What if the Mind Meld spock prime did to kirk didn't go completely as planned and ended up causing slight problems later for the young captain, and what if young spock tried to help fix it. :i suck at summaries: K/S slash *on hiatus im reworking it atm*
1. Ghosts and whispers

AN: my first Star Trek fic EVER lol and I have to say Kirk/Spock was never far from my mind, but with the last movie that came out it was the last straw and I had to do something. And can I just say Spock now is just ridiculously hot lol loved him before but now its just silly.

Disclaimer: don't own Star Trek never will and it might just be for the best anyway xD

Warning: and if you didn't see it before yes this is Kirk/Spock fic slashy tendencies will soon follow, not saying there isn't any in this first chapter. But if K/S slash isn't what you want then by all mean go back the way you came. ;p oh and not beta'd don't have one and i really don't think i will be getting one sadly *never really seems to work out*, but by all mean see something blatantly wrong just tell me and I'll fix it. Well that should do it so enjoy... hopefully.

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-almost a year after the Nero incident-

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Ghosts and whispers, and overwhelming feeling woke Kirk from his sleep with a gasp, taking slow breaths he held his face in his hands. It was getting worse, ever since he had that encounter with the older Spock, and that mind transfer thing he did. He had been having strange dreams, it wasn't all that troublesome in the beginning, but after a few months it was becoming more frequent. And now it was starting to interfere with his sleeping. Jim got out of his bed and headed to the sink in his quarters splashing water on his face. He tried to remember the dreams, but it was no use he never could recall them, and only a few words stuck in his mind.

This was getting ridiculous if this kept up he'd have to go to Bones and get something to make him sleep, but then again McCoy wouldn't give him anything unless Jim told him why. Some how telling the doctor that he was having dreams of a life he didn't even know didn't seem all that helpful, Bones would probably confine him to sickbay for some mental disorder. Sighing he looked for the time, letting out a groan it was 04:00 he had to be to the bridge in an hour. It seemed to be as good a time as any to get the day started. After Kirk finished getting ready he went to the mess hall to grab a quick bite, and headed to the bridge. When the doors opened to the bridge he the night crew still on.

"Well, good morning everyone," the captain greeted the small staff heading to his chair.

"You're a little early aren't you Captain?" Spock asked moving from his station to the captain's side.

"I could ask you the same thing Spock, or are you always on duty this early?" Kirk asked smirking as he looked over the reports for the night.

"Isn't it considered rude to answer a question with a question?" Spock said flatly.

"And you just asked another one," Kirk looked to his first officer with a smirk.

Spock just exhaled a little harder then necessary, "It appears so."

After Spock gave a some more details to other reports he had gotten from the night crew, and Kirk finished going over the ones he had when he got on deck. The rest of the morning went by with out much incident, but by the after noon Jim's mind was starting to wander. He started to hear whispers, soft words of conversations he felt he should know but he couldn't make out what they were saying. It wasn't frightening to him, it was more frustrating then anything. His dreams were now following him into his waking hours holding. Rubbing his face in his hand he tried to block out the dull noise, and he didn't realize anyone was trying to talk to him till Spock grabbed his shoulder.

"Yes Mr. Spock?" Kirk said quickly acting normal.

"Captain, I know it's not my place,"Jim couldn't help but grin when he saw how uncomfortable the Vulcan looked, "is there anything troubling you?"

"No, there isn't," Kirk stood, "I'm going to go see Bones, I'll be back shortly. The Bridge is yours Mr. Spock." the young man stood heading to the turbo lift.

The first officer looked around for a second, "Mr. Sulu the bridge is yours maintain course."

He followed after the captain in to the lift standing stiffly as ever next to the captain not completely sure why he followed at all.

"I do know where the sickbay is Spock," Kirk grinned hitting the display for the right deck.

"I'm sure you do," was the short reply.

"Fine if you wanna follow me might as well it concerns you anyway," Jim continued waiting for the lift to stop, Spock just looked at the other man raising an eyebrow.

When the pair got to sickbay they found McCoy arguing with one of the crew members, something about 'just taking the damn shot' "Bones," Kirk called getting the other mans attention, "When you have a minute." Jim and Spock went int the small area that counted as McCoy's office.

"Is there something wrong with you captain?" Spock couldn't help but ask again.

"Eh, just wait for Bones," Kirk waved looking at a picture on the wall.

When the doctor finally came in he was still grumbling under his breath, and threw a confused look to Spock then looked to the captain "What is it Jim?"

"I'm kinda hearing things," Kirk said off handedly turning to the two officers.

"What do you mean, like voices?" Bones asked reaching for a scanner moving to the captain.

"I don't know I cant really make it out there are a few words here and there but nothing sticks," Kirk explained eyes watching McCoy's hand move around his head.

"When did this start?" Bones asked reading the scanner.

"Oh a while now, it didn't start till after I got left on that ice ball of a planet," Jim said looking pointedly at Spock.

The first officer frowned a little at that, "Well perhaps you shouldn't have attacked the security officers."

"God Jim you're hearing things why are you just acting like its nothing," McCoy snapped not finding anything on the scanner.

"Cause it didn't get bad till I started losing sleep over it, can you give me anything to help me sleep Bones," Kirk sighed rubbing his forehead.

"Yes, but I really would like to keep you here for more studies," McCoy said watching the captain knowing the man wouldn't stay for that, but felt he needed to say it anyway.

"We'll see, I'll come back before tonight. I want to see something first now that I think about it," Kirk turned to the other officer, "Spock, can I ask you to accompany me." the joking tone slipping slightly.

"Of course captain," the science officer agreed following after the captain.

Leaving Bones to shout out after them, "If you weren't going to take my advise why did you even bother coming down here."

Kirk led the way to his quarters with the first officer not far behind with out question. Once inside the outer rooms of the captains quarters they stood neither saying anything. "Was there something you wanted to say, Captain?" Spock said bringing the captain out of what ever thoughts he was lost in.

"Yes Spock, I was wondering if you could help me." Kirk said turning to face the other officer.

"If I can I will," the science officer said standing even more straight if possible.

"After I found your future counter part, and he touched me-" "Touched you?" Spock interrupted raising an eye brow, "Yes he put his hand here," Jim moved to replicate the action on Spock, but decided against it as it might be one step to far, "It wasn't long after that, that all this started happening," Kirk sighed signaling to his head, "He called it melding of minds or something like that."

"Why did he do that?" Spock actually looked shocked.

"I don't know he wanted to show me the events that led up to the Nero situation, but something is off I keep hearing things and having strange dreams." Kirk rubbed his forehead.

"He did a Vulcan Mind meld with you, and it sounds like some residual memories got past," Spock said matter-of-factly.

"Well why the hell would that happen, wouldn't you know how to do that right by that age," the captain snapped a little.

"Captain there isn't any logical reason for you to be shouting at me," the Vulcan said flatly.

"Well since this is kinda your fault," he couldn't help but smirk at the other man, "can you fix it?"

"I can but this isn't something to be done lightly," Spock informed moving closer.

"Yeah yeah emotional rub off or what ever," the captain waved off closing the distance to his first officer, "It couldn't be any worse then the first time."

"That is debatable," Spock said moving his hand up to the captains face positioning his fingers closing his eyes, "My mind to your mind...my thoughts to your thoughts..."

Kirk leaned into the touch listening to the even words, closing his eyes with a flash he could feel Spock in his mind seeing the information he was looking through to find his goal. Moving past the Nero implanted memories to find the more quiet elusive thoughts, the shadowy images. Feeling them out he grasped them, then with a bright flash everything exploded at them both. Disagreements, and fights they had, had in another life, amusing conversations joking even.

Another flash the broken images became clearer, touches, skin moving against each other knowing it wasn't the first nor the last. Whispers becoming words of rarely spoken love, and deep friendship with promises of more. With another flash the pain of a death, Spock's death to save the ship, then Kirk's own death and the pain of Spock's that he wasn't there with him.

The emotion became to much Spock pulled back and both men pushed apart as if burned. Kirk stumbled back against a desk breathing hard trying to regain some control wiping his eyes free from the tears. Spock just looked at his hand as if the appendage had done him some great wrong.

"Spock?" Kirk's voice horse as if he had been yelling for hours pulled the Vulcan from his thoughts looking up to the man letting a tear escape. Rubbing it away he just looked at the captain, "Jim?"

-tbc-


	2. Dreams

A/N: new chapter YeY \o/

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The two officers could do nothing more then look at each other, as images still spun in their minds till Spock had to look away. The emotions of years stacking upon one another began overwhelming him as an ill feeling came over him he stumble back. Kirk saw him and feared he was on his way down, he moved quickly holding the Vulcan up by his upper arms, "You alright?"

Spock grabbed the man's wrists to pull them off but when he looked up to Kirk, he froze his grip tightening. Jim moved without thought closer mere inches from Spock, blue eyes locked with black his hold on the other never let up. Everything that was logical that should have been screaming at Spock to pull back was eerily quiet as he leaned in. Kirk having to force his breathing to be even to where Spock was barely breathing, but they never broke eye contact. Warm breaths mingling, as their bodies touched what ever spell that was over them broke with a shock. Confusion covered Kirk's face looking to Spock for an answer any answer for whatever just happened. Spock had no answer, he only had questions of his own flying threw his mind.

Finally Jim snapped, "What the hell was that?" his grip changing to something more desperate.

"It appears that when I-I mean, when he showed you about Nero the emotional toll of Vulcan being destroyed, and seeing you alive let other," Spock looked away, "information slip in."

"Slip in?" Kirk let a nervous laugh out, "That's one hell of a slip Spock."

"Yes, it is," was all Spock could say. After a quiet second Spock spoke quickly but the tone was flat, "I have to go, if you'll excuse me," looking back to the man pulling his hands from their hold, "captain." Hesitating a fraction before dropping them completely.

For the fist time in his life James Kirk couldn't think of anything; witty, funny or smart to say. "Of course,"

Jim nodded watching with a stab as any emotion that was visible on the Vulcan's face went behind the usual mask of nothing. Jim forced himself to take steps back ignoring the empty feeling it caused, "I'll be back to the bridge shortly." Taking a last look at his first officer, he turned his back to the other, giving them the out he knew they were waiting for.

Spock watched as Jim turned his back, and fought an urge to go to him. With the echo of another time when he wouldn't have hesitated in this situation flashed in his mind. Frustration as irrational as it was the feeling washed over him. "Captain," was Spock's clipped exit.

Once his first officer left Kirk fell into a near by chair holding his head in his hands taking deep ragged breaths. As Spock got into the turbo lift letting the doors close, he hit the pad to stop and lock the doors. Leaning forward letting his arms support him against the cool metal. "This can't possibly be real," his hands fisting, "how could I do something so illogical?"

After a little more then a hour Kirk made his way back to his bridge still trying to get a lock down on the nervous energy building in him. As the doors opened he had less then a second to clamp it all down taking a deep breath stepping out of the lift. "What did I miss?" he asked grinning as he headed to his chair, stealing a glance at the obviously stiff back of his first officer.

"If there vas something dat had happened ve vould have called you captain," Chekov quickly explained.

"Relax, I know," Jim smiled holding out his hand to signal to the boy to take it easy. He liked the boy but sometimes he seemed a little tightly wound. "Mr. Chekov how much longer till we reach the Orion station?" the captain asked sitting back into his chair.

"At our current speed, three days captain," the young man rattled off.

"Sounds good," Jim said flippantly, "Lt. Uhura," Kirk faltered remembering in an instant that she was in a relationship with Spock his stomach dropped out. He looked quickly to Spock finding the other looking right at him his face vacant but the Vulcan's eyes betrayed the emotion behind them. His mouth moved but nothing came out the feeling of the other occupants eyes moving to him.

"Captain?" Uhura's voice cut through him tearing his eyes from Spock.

"Yes," he finally chocked out, "Let the space station Orion know our ETA," focusing his eyes on the main viewer.

"Yes, captain," she said turning back to her station, as did the others.

Except he could see off to the side the dark haired science officer was still watching him and throwing a glance to the busy communications officer before finally going back to his station. "Isn't this day over yet?" the captain asked himself quietly rubbing his forehead.

-

Once the day had finally ended and he gave his orders to the night crew, Kirk went straight to his quarters not even bothering with dinner. Not being able to stay in his outer rooms, he went straight to his bedroom. Pulling off his uniform shirt and collapsed on the bed the day had been far to long he had been on the edge of a headache for the last several hours. Everything that had happened that afternoon was just running around and around in his head. Was what he had seen with Spock true, did they really end up together? Or could they even end up together? Everything he had seen was just so real, the friendship the trust, but the other aspect was just something more raw. He rubbed his face hard pulling his mind from that train of thought before he really got confused. Rolling over beating his pillow purely for comfort reasons... kinda. Forcing himself to relax he eventually fell asleep.

In the blackness he felt more then saw the hands on him, moving slowly up his sides lips following the path the fingers had carved moving up his neck, a hushed voice whispered in his ear, "_t'hy'la." _It sent a tremor down his spin he didn't know the word but knew he had heard it before. Feeling the body moving above him, feeling himself respond reaching up to hold on to the body letting a moan slip feeling the smooth skin under his hands pulling the body closer. Lips brushing closer quick breaths telling of the urgency. "Jim," the voice begged sending electricity run through his body as he moaned, "Spock."

A loud beeping harshly pulled him from his deep sleep with a start taking in a hard breath, the erratic beeping continued he couldn't figure out what it was at first. After a moment he realized someone was at his door, grabbing a robe that was barely hanging onto the bed.

Putting on the robe he called out agitated, "Hold on I'm coming." He hit the button opening the door to reveal the Ships doctor, "What do you want Bones?"

"What, did I interrupt something?" came McCoy's sarcastic greeting.

"I was a sleep," Kirk said rubbing his face still not moving from the entry.

"So I take it you don't need anything to help you sleep then," Bones asked taking a hint.

"Well actually I might now, there isn't anyway I'm gonna be getting back to sleep," Jim finally moved letting McCoy follow him in.

"Having a rough night, Jim?" the doctor smirked sitting his medical case down on a stand.

"What time is it anyway?" Kirk asked watching with mild interest.

"20:00," McCoy said flatly, "Do you want this now or what?" Kirk eyed the injector half rethinking this maybe he could fall back to sleep he apparently done it once tonight-, "Did you get Spock to help you with the voices?" Spock's name pulled his focus and felt his face heat happy that all the lights weren't on in his quarters.

"Yeah no voices, I'm good," the captain sighed, "but I really could use a good nights sleep."

"Alright, don't look," Bones said getting closer taking Jim's chin turning his head, and right be for he could even get it close enough the captain flinched, "You're a baby, I haven't even got it close to you yet." Kirk was gonna make a retort but then McCoy jabbed him causing the captain to tense up muttering curses at the doctor. "You better get to bed quickly that'll take a minute to work." McCoy packed up his stuff as Jim moved to his bed room, grumbling,

"Are all doctors sadists or just you?"

"You're welcome," Bones called out to his friend letting himself out.

-tbc-

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AN: well that was semi hellish to write two versions and this one won lol now I get to see what you fine ppl think of it *hope its not too harsh . lol*. True it is a little shorter then the last but this is the best cutting off point. And thank you for all the comments they were all helpful and encouraging. Till next time tata


	3. Touch

beta'd by the wonderful and understanding, Zombie Cordelia, thank you. it shouldn't be as much of a problem next time ; p

and a lil ty to Uozumi who pointed out the military time blunder oops (i really do know military time, i just dont know what i was thinking lol w/e fixed now, now no one will ever know ~.^)

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In the dimly lit room Spock sat, fingers steepled, head bowed. It was getting close to 22:00 and the science officer had been in this position in his quarters since he had gone off duty. Even though he had been mediating for hours, he had made little to no progress. When he could get his feelings focused and controlled with one memory, another would would spring up. Spock had already turned down Nyota's company earlier that evening, unable to deal with his conflicting thoughts of her and the captain.

His thoughts shifted to that afternoon on the bridge-- how could he have forgotten about Uhura? Remembering the look on Jim's face, it was obvious that Spock wasn't the only one that had forgotten about the woman. The look of hurt and-- was it betrayal?-- that flashed when he and the Captain locked eyes. The moment of sadness he had felt for Kirk in that instant reemerged with a vengeance accompanied with another feeling. Guilt. The guilt of being the one responsible for the pain he saw written on his captains face.

Growling as frustration took him for the second time that day, he stood, forgoing the mediation for the time being. His thoughts were giving him no chance to rest. They were too many and too new. He would have had a better chance in taking care of these new truths at a later time, but he couldn't have these thoughts and emotions running rampant in his mind. It was causing him to be distracted the evidence of his distraction lay on his desk-- several reports he had yet to go over. Looking at said reports caused him to frown slightly. Spock was determined to get control even if it took all night. The Vulcan took his previous seat and position, beginning once again to try and cycle through the recent additions to his memory.

-

That morning when Kirk made his regular entrance to the bridge, he did the usual. Listened to the nightly report, signed off on a few things. It wasn't till after a few minutes when Chekov, Sulu and Uhura took over their stations that it hit the captain-- Spock wasn't any where to be seen. He grabbed one of the now off-duty officers, "Did Mr. Spock check in this morning?"

"No sir," the lieutenant answered stiffly. Kirk nodded to the other to go as he looked around till he saw Uhura. She at lest looked as clueless as he did.

"Do you want me to call for Commander Spock, captain?" the lieutenant asked innocently.

Jim fought to keep his face neutral as she said Spock's name, but recovered quickly. "That won't be necessary lieutenant. You just just hold down the fort till I get back." He flashed her a grin and headed for the turbo lift, intent on finding his missing first officer.

It probably would have been better if Uhura had called down to Spock's quarters, but he just wanted to see if the man was alright for himself. Getting off the turbo lift he moved down the hall to the door that he knew was Spock's. He hit the button sounding the beep on the other side, after a few moments nothing, he tried again. Still nothing. Maybe Spock wasn't in his room. But then again, where else would the Science Officer be if not on the bridge.

Taking a chance, Kirk overrode the lock and entered his first officer's quarters. Looking around the dark room, he quickly saw Spock sitting at his desk, appearing to be in deep thought. "Spock," he said walking closer to the man. Getting no response but a moan, Kirk had the decency to blush a little, and locked that information away for another time. He got closer and said it again louder this time giving the man a light shake.

-

Spock was starting to feel the drain of exhaustion physically and mentally, and it was getting harder to lock down the memories as they were getting more intimate. The scenes never completely played out, but it was enough to understand what was happening. It wasn't till one memory was in a bigger piece then the others broke him. Hands pushing clothes away in a mad rush, lips meeting in harsh demanding assaults. Blunt nails digging into tight muscles for leverage. Moans and gasping breaths echoing in his mind. The sense of urgency rising, "Jim." he heard himself actually begging for the other man.

"Spock," the other voice was so close he couldn't stop the moan escaping his lips.

"Spock!" the voice called louder, and he felt himself shift. All of a sudden his focus and control was gone. He dropped out of his pose and slumped forward, breathing hard. He quickly felt another's presence in the room, and looked up to see Jim, looking at him with concerned blue eyes.

"Leave me," the Vulcan ordered between sharp broken breaths.

"Are you all right?" Kirk asked ignoring the others demand, reaching for Spock's shoulder.

As his hand rested on Spock's shoulder it was obviously a wrong choice, because once Jim touched the other he quickly and rather painfully found himself pinned against a wall by his shirt front. Groaning a little as the pain bloomed in his back, he noticed the desperate look in his first officers eyes. "Spock," he called trying to pry the others hands off his uniform.

"Jim, I can't," Spock whispered desperately tightening his hold, " I-I am in control of my emotions."

Kirk nodded dumbly, still trying to pry at the iron grip on his shirt front. "Snap out of it Spock," Jim shouted at his first officer.

When Spock looked up and met the same blue eyes that had been haunting him, any control he had left was lost. The Vulcan pulled the other man into a rough, heated kiss. Kirk was beyond surprised at the action. It took less then a second to regain control, and he was half ready to resist, but when he felt the ghost of the Vulcan's tongue against his lips any thought of ending it were gone. Kirk let go of the hands at his collar. Kirk wrapped one arm around Spock, pulling him closer till they were flush against each other his other holding the back of Spock's head moving to deepen the kiss.

Spock allowed himself to be positioned opening to Jim with out thought. As their tongues met, both let out a deep groan. The Vulcan changed his hold on Kirk, letting a hand move up to cup Jim's jaw, tilting it for better access, letting their tongue's map out every conceivable spot. As Kirk caught Spock's bottom lip between his teeth, sucking lightly, it pulled an otherworldly sound form the otherwise stoic Vulcan. The sound alone was enough to send a ball of heat to the pit of Kirk's stomach.

Spock shifted to start a new trail of kisses down Jim's jaw. One of Spock's hands that were previously tangled in Jim's uniform found its way up to the man's head exposing his neck licking and nipping at the new expanse of skin relishing the now slightly salty skin. Jim couldn't hold back the choked moans**.**Spock tried to get closer but physics just wasn't allowing it to happen so to vent his displeasure he bit particularly hard at the spot between the man's clavicle and shoulder, pulling the most wanton sound from the man making Spock dizzy.

With a sharp whistle it was over. Kirk let go as Spock stumbled back, holding on to a nearby chair. They stood staring at each other, panting, as Lieutenant Uhura's voice came across the speakers requesting the presence of the captain.

Spock had to look away, "Captain I must ask that you leave my quarters." He glanced back at Kirk, "Now."

Kirk was floored by the pleading in Spock's voice, but somehow found the strength in his legs, and with out even thinking to disobey, left his first officers quarters. With out a thought, he made his way back to the lift, automatically hitting the pad for the bridge.

As he straightened his shirt, it pulled against the bite, causing a twinge of pain. Rubbing the mark through the shirt, he couldn't help let out a laugh. 'Who knew Spock was such a good kisser?' His smile dropped as the doors opened revealing Lieutenant Uhura.

'Oh yeah' was the last thought as he stepped on to the bridge.


	4. Delays

As he stepped onto the bridge he noticed Uhura was watching him knowing she wanted to ask him a question, but Jim answered the unasked anyway, "I found him and I'm, sure he'll be here shortly, moving to his chair, "What's the word lieutenant?"

"Commander Walters of the Orion Station is requesting to know if there is anyway we could get to the station sooner then the predetermined time." the Lieutenant answered reading off her screen.

"I don't suppose he said why?" Kirk asked sitting in his chair.

"No Sir, but he did say he would be contacting us again shortly," Uhura clarified.

"Vary well then, might as well get a jump on it," shrugged turning to the pilot, "Mr. Sulu increase speed."

"Aye Captain,"

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Once the captain had left his quarters Spock felt his insides trying to rebel against him. Sitting in the chair that was previously the only thing keeping him upright, he breathed and tried to focus on other thoughts to get his mind and body to do as he wanted. After a few moments Spock pulled himself together enough anyway to get to his computer display and put in a message to the new Vulcan colony, more specifically his older self. It was a brief communication telling the man that he would try to contact him later that night. Looking blankly across the room exhausted his mind went back to the kiss, the feel of Jim against him, the hardness was completely different then the softness of Nyota.

The raw desperate need of it accompanied with the sounds the captain was making, sent an all to human response through his body. Annoyed at the way his body was ignoring him he decided that this whole situation was both illogical and unwise. Till he got a hold of his future version, and got more information it would be best to simply avoid the captain.

Once he was finally ready for duty he made his way to the bridge. Almost two hours late the first officer made his appearance on the bridge. Spock walked up to the captain's chair gaining a tight look from Kirk.

"My tardiness is unexplainable, and I have no reason to offer if you chose to report me," Spock said evenly focusing on some point across the room ignoring the captain's questioning eyes.

"No Mr. Spock I'm not going to write you up, you're here now that's all that matters, take you're station," Jim tried to keep his tone light and posture from tensing as he watched his first officer move to his post, his hands itching as he remembered the feel of those shoulders under his hands. Spock felt the captain's gaze following him, but he did his best to ignore the sensation and the man that it came from.

Lieutenant Uhura's voice quickly pulled the captain's thought back to now, "Captain, in coming transmission from the Orion Station," she relayed, "he wants to speak to you, sir"

"Alright, send it to the conference room," Kirk ordered heading for the doors pausing a second, "Mr. Spock follow me will you."

"Of course captain," Spock nodded flatly as he moved to follow the man.

As the two officers entered the conference room kirk contacted Uhura, "Ok lieutenant we're ready."

"Patching through now captain," Uhura said quickly before a man's voice and face appeared on the view display in the room.

"Captain, hello," Commander Walters greeted absently.

"Commander, I hear you need to tell me something? Kirk said evenly.

"Yes Captain, I know you were suppose to come here for the Enterprise's one year systems check, but," he paused taking a report from someone out of frame, "Our long range censers have picked up on some abnormal readings from a planet in a nearby system."

Kirk listened throwing his first officer a glance, Spock was just listening. Turning back to the viewer, "Did you tell Star fleet?"

"Yes sir,i actually just got through talking with them. They advised that we give you our data, and since the Enterprise is the closest ship you are to go to Geisa seven and see what is happening." the commander rattled off as he handed off a report to another person out of view, "and once the Enterprise is finished there you are then to report back here for the inspections."

"Understood, Commander," Kirk nodded.

"Vary good Captain," Walters nodded ending the transmission.

"Well goodbye to you too," Jim sighed leaning against the table top looking to his science officer, "What do you think Spock?"

"I wouldn't know captain, I do not have enough information to even make an educated assumption," Spock's monotone voice explained still not looking to his captain. Kirk just nodded as silence filled the room Jim wanted to say something rubbing his shoulder absently. "Captain," Spock broke the silence, "about earlier I must apologize, I lost control and I will not let it happen again."

Jim looked to the first officer slightly shocked that the Vulcan even brought it up, but what came out of Jim next was beyond his control. Pushing off the table, "What If I do want it to happen again?" he asked carefully taking a few more steps to the science officer. Spock stiffened keeping his face blank and focused on the wall, as Kirk proceeded to close the distance between them.

Spock couldn't help when his gaze slipped to the captain feeling the pull, but caught himself looking away quickly, "It will not happen again," Spock repeated more forcefully, "If you'll excuse me, captain."

Kirk just watched as his first officer once again walk away from him, and with the same damn emotionless line. His head was starting to hurt, and he knew for sure that it was only going to get worse. Sighing to himself the captain left the conference room deciding to make a little pit stop to his favorite doctor.

Doctor McCoy looked to be doing a sort of inventory, "Come to ask me for my opinion again and not take it?" he asked still not turning to the captain.

"Yeah well what can I say if I did everything you told me then you'd really think I was sick," Jim grinned standing next to the doctor, "I'm getting a killer headache ."

"Is the captaincy finally getting to you?" Bones smirked grabbing something from the shelf.

"It's not the captaincy," Jim muttered getting a curious look from McCoy.

"Oh, whats her name then?" the doctor asked slyly.

"It's nobody," Kirk denied a little harsher then he intended.

"If you say so Jim," McCoy shrugged ignoring the captain snapping together the syringe while the captain was obviously else where. Quickly grabbing Jim's collar injecting the captain in the neck causing him to pull away leaving the doctor pulling more on his uniform.

"What the hell Bones!" Kirk yelled, "Why does everything have to be a shot with you?"

"It's the fastest way of getting things into the bloodstream,"sitting the injector down the doctor made a move to grab at the captain's collar again, "Whats on your neck?"

Jim felt his stomach drop as he moved out of McCoy's reach, "A scratch?" Jim knew it was weak soon as the words fell out of his mouth.

"Oh no you don't," Bones went to go for him again, but an engineer came in practically carrying another one catching the Doctors attention.

"Captain, doctor, lieutenant Hayes tripped and cracked his head down in the turbine room," the other lieutenant said readjusting his hold on his fellow officer.

"Well looks like you have your hands full Bones see ya around," Kirk waved to the doctor maneuvering around the two crew members.

McCoy just frowned watching his friend walk out of the room, shaking his head he went to help the lieutenant with the injured man.

As Jim made his way back to the bridge absently rubbing his neck cursing Bones and his incessant need to mother him. Once back on the bridge he silently made his way to his chair.

"Chekov, change course to Geisa Seven, looks like we'll have to go to the Orion station later," he barely heard the ensign's affirmation turning to his first officer's back, "Mr. Spock did you get the data from the station?"

"Yes captain," was Spock's clipped answer.

"And?" Kirk prodded feeling slightly annoyed, "have you gotten any idea of what might be going on?"

"No, sir I haven't finished going over it all yet," the science officer said still looking at what was in front of him not turning to the captain.

"Well just let me know when you do find something out wont you," Jim hoped briefly that it didn't sound anywhere as sarcastic as it did in his head, but then again at the moment he really didn't care., "Lieutenant Uhura let Star fleet know we're on our way to Geisa Seven to see whats going on."

"Yes captain," she nodded turning to her panel.

"Alright well I'll be," Kirk announced to no one specifically, but couldn't help his gaze shift to his 'busy' first officer, "around, the bridge is yours, Commander Spock."

"Understood," came the Vulcan's indifferent voice still not moving.

"Maintain speed Sulu," Was the last order before he left the bridge.

Sulu barely got out a 'yes captain' before the man left. He and Chekov looked to the still seated first officer's back then each other, "and I thought they were getting to be friends." the pilot whispered to the nodding Russian. They didn't see the pained look that crossed the first officers face, or hear the deep breath to bring himself again to a collected state.

-tbc-

/AN: yes its been awhile but you know graduation season, but everyone is done and now I can get back to the fun stuff lol......... *(7/15) a/n: i kinda sorta sprang my wrist and ive been trying to put something out but for some unfor seen reason one handed typing is hard o.0 lol go figure, but i should have something out soon sorry for the delay, all patience will be rewarded i swear =D*


	5. Told

~ a/n: still not beta'd

* * *

Once the captain left the bridge, Uhura finished relaying the message to Star Fleet the communications officer grabbed a PADD and walked over to Spock's station. Holding the report out to the apparently oblivious Science officer till he took glancing it over and handed it back with out even looking to the Lieutenant, "I do not require this."

Uhura frowned a little,"I know that," she leaned closer the the Vulcan, taking a quick glance around the deck she whispered, "Are you going to turn me away again if I come by later?"

"This really isn't either the time nor place to be making such inquiries," was Spock's curt reply as he still studied the information from the station.

Uhura leaned forward putting her hand on the display finally gaining Spock's attention. He was going to tell her that he would prefer to be alone, but the flash of Jim breathless, flushed, and pinned against a wall went through his mind, "No."

Uhura flashed a smile moving her hand from the screen, "Great I'll see you when I get off duty."

Spock simply gave a small nod before turning back to his previous task pointedly not watching the Lieutenant walk back to her station as a strange sensation filled his stomach.

-

Jim couldn't help the agitated feeling that ran through him at the moment he had no idea what was going on between himself and his first officer, letting out a frustrated sigh as he entered the ships galley. Kirk settled on getting a cup of coffee hoping he could take a moment and sort his thought out before having to go the bridge again let alone face Spock again. Taking the cup he headed to a table in the back of the room away from the small groups of off duty personnel.

Running his thumb over the lip of the cup he just stared at the warm dark liquid frowning at himself as what it reminded him of. "This is stupid," he sighed rubbing his face leaning back into his seat.

Jim had lost track of time as he tried to redirect his uncooperative thoughts. Till Spock's voice called his attention requesting his presence on the bridge. Sighing he got up moving to the communication panel letting the bridge know he was on his way. Almost forgetting he was carrying the still full coffee swirling the cup a little gave prof that the liquid had stop giving off the comfortable warmth a long time ago. Pitching the cup and it's contents into the trash he headed out of the dinning area and made his way to the turbo lift.

Once the doors opened he couldn't help glare at the smiling doctor, "Fancy running into you here." Jim had a small second where he thought about taking the long way to the bridge. "I was just on my way to see you," McCoy smiled ignoring the behavior of the captain.

"And what do you need doctor?" Kirk couldn't keep the agitation out of his voice.

The lift doors opened Jim exiting quickly moving to his chair McCoy right behind him, "I wanted to take a look at that iscratch/i on your neck."

Kirk froze a split second eyes flashing straight for the turned back of the Vulcan noticing the obvious tensing of Spock's shoulders. Recovering quickly he sat down flashing McCoy a grin, "Oh Bones you know how it goes heat of the moment sort of thing,"

"I knew it, who is she?" the doctor excited that he had it right from the beginning.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Kirk couldn't stop the small laugh that followed.

"Was it that girl from that last planet we had to deliver supplies to last week," the doctor pondered the possibilities like it was some great mystery," No the marks are to new, oh that cute number from engineering?" Jim still said nothing and the fact that he knew Spock could hear everything was in a twisted way kinda fun, "Come on Jim, who was it?"

"Mr. Spock-," Kirk called for his Science officer who almost snapped the pen tool he was holding, "Was there a reason you called me up here?"

"You're really not going to tell me are you," the doctor complained.

Jim held his response till Spock handed him the report looking at Spock before answering, "No Bones, I'm not."

"Fine," McCoy surrendered leaning against the railing.

Spock only moved a few steps back but avoided any eyes contact with the captain, if Jim didn't know any better he could have sworn the Vulcan was flustered. With a small grin he turned to the report in hand the smirk fell looking back to Spock, "Is this right Spock?"

"Yes captain," the science officer actually looking back to the man.

"Alright, call Scotty have him meet us in the conference room," Kirk stood heading to the side entrance of the bride, "Come on Bones, Mr. Sulu." Before exiting he called out, "Chekov, hold it down."

-

As Mr. Scott entered the meeting began. "Alright so if you all haven't noticed we aren't heading to the Orion Station-"

"But captain, we really should be getting the systems check done," Scotty urged.

"I know, but its an order from Star fleet and besides it shouldn't be all that long," Kirk smiled.

"Depends on what you get us into," the engineer complained not completely under his breath.

"What ever it is I have complete faith in you," Jim said flippantly, "The point of this is to get you all informed on whats going on, Mr. Spock if you would."

As Kirk signaled to the Science officer immediately picked up the explanation, "After analyzing the data from the Orion Station, and from what our scans can now start picking up shows that Geisa VII is deteriorating," pulling up a display on the rooms screen, "There seems to be seismic activity all the way to the planets core, and at its present course the planet will die in 6 days 18.52 hours," Spock paused, "That is, only a projection from what I have gathered from our recent readings."

Kirk sighed turning to Sulu, "How much longer till we get the planet?"

"About 48 hours Sir," the navigator said quickly.

"Alright everyone dismissed," Jim ordered not moving as he watched the others head out, "Mr. Spock a word please."

Spock stiffened as he watched the back of McCoy disappear through the doors before turning to the man sitting, "Yes captain?"

"I want to make sure this assignment is alright with you," Kirk moved out from the chair moving around the table.

"I do not see how it would matter if it _bothered me_ or not the mission is the mission there is no changing it," hands clasped behind his back as he still stood rooted, "Besides it is an opportunity to study a dying planet that can not be ignored."

The quiet stretched between them Kirk leaning against the conference table studying the Vulcan. Spock couldn't ignore the gaze that he could feel sweep over him and met the look with his own. He couldn't look away from the man as he noticed the slightly quicker breathing pattern the rapidly dilating pupils, and he most certainly didn't feel his own pulse rate pick up. Finally Spock found his voice, "Was there anything else, Captain?"

Kirk had a death grip on the edge of the table top to keep himself from moving, he answered in a hushed voice, "No."

"Then if you'll excuse me-" Spock began to turn but was spun back around.

"Can you not say the same thing every time you leave a room," Jim said frustration clear in his voice holding tight to Spock's arm. "I wasn't aware that-" "Shut up Spock," Jim moved close to the Vulcan, "Just be quiet."

Spock couldn't bring himself to move away but didn't reach out for the other either, they were so close that their breath mixed Spock tilted into the man their mouths only centimeters apart when he felt Jim shift to close the distance Spock turned his head screwing his eyes shut taking a step out of the man's hold. "I apologize captain," Spock's impassive look returned when he looked to the captain again, "I must return to my station."

Spock left the room quickly holding onto what was left of his control as he tried to not think of the wounded look of Jim's confused hurt blue eyes.

Jim stood stunned and alone in the conference room he didn't know why he moved, that was a lie he knew why. He saw Spock walking out of the room threating to leave him alone with his thoughts. In that quick moment he knew Spock had said it wasn't going to happen again and Kirk new that, he did but once he got close to the Vulcan something snapped and he was so close. He rubbed his lips feeling the burn of the almost kiss, he could feel the warmth in his hand from his hold on Spock's arm. Groaning he rubbed his face, he looked to see the time noticing that it was just a couple of hours before he would be off duty and free to just go to his quarter's.

-

What was rest of the day went by in a hazy fog, Kirk was only operating on auto-pilot signing what was ever put in front of him with out much thought. He knew Spock was on the bridge, but he could only managed the briefest of a look at his first officer's back all to aware of their distance. The whole confusion of the situation combined with the obvious lack of ability to communicate with each other was starting to aggravate Jim.

When the night shift came on quickly went over what he needed to before leaving the bridge. His destination was sickbay, more exactly Bones' liquor cabinet. McCoy barely saw the figure that went straight for his office, but knew it was Jim and if Jim was moving that fast there was an issue. The doctor followed the captain into his office in time to find him riffling through his desk drawers, "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah how do you get into that damn thing," Kirk snapped pointing to the offending frosted glass doors.

McCoy pulled a small card from his pocket showing it to Jim before swiping it over the lock, "Did we have a bad day?" Bones asked grabbing a bottle filled with a dark green liquid, and two small cups.

"I don't want to talk about it," Jim rubbed the back of his neck trying to get rid of some tension.

Bones put the half filled cup down in front of the captain, "Drink that it'll make you feel better," Kirk grabbed the cup studying the liquid frowning at the doctor, "Is there something the mater with it?"

"No," Jim huffed downing half the liquid, hissing as the burn went down his throat and hit his stomach.

McCoy raised an eyebrow taking his own cup and sitting across from the captain, "Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

Kirk just shook his head watching the swirling liquid in the cup as he tipped it back and forth. Bones just sat there taking a sip from his cup just watching the other man, if Jim wanted to talk he would and he'd sit there and wait all night if he had to.

-

Spock sat in front of his computer ready to send a message to New Vulcan, but he couldn't bring himself to actually bring up what was happening between himself and the captain. In steed he asked about the progression of the colony and if there was any problems. As he sent the message he couldn't help but feel disappointed with himself there wasn't any logical reason why he couldn't question his future counterpart, but he didn't send another message either.

Still sitting in his chair he had tried meditating a few times, but after the third attempt it seemed rather futile. So now he sat thinking and staring at nothing of great importance trying to at lest busy his mind with equations. Beeping pulled Spock from his thoughts, and he remembered that Nyota was suppose to be stopping by. He moved to answer the door hesitating for a moment still not wanting company, but he had already said she could turning her away now would be considered rude.

"Greetings lieutenant," Spock said stiffly moving aside letting the woman past.

"Hello Spock," Nyota smiled entering the room sitting on the small sofa.

Spock followed sitting next to her. Nyota tried to engage him into some conversation, but was only giving short comments. Sighing she looked around the room noticing wall decorations she's seen before but still enjoyed looking over till her eyes landed on the lyre sitting on a low shelf. Getting up and moving over picking up the instrument turning to Spock, "Would you play something for me?"

"If it would please you," came the flat response, as Uhura walked back over to the sofa handing the instrument over, "Is there anything in particular you would like to hear?"

"No whatever comes to mind will be fine," she leaned back eyes locked on Spock as he positioned himself at eh edge of the seat adjusting his hold on the lyre.

Spock took a second closed his eyes and began to play, as the soft notes filled the room his thought drifted to Jim. He couldn't deny what it all was, they had become friends in the past year. True he was feeling something stronger then friendship for the man but the reality of it was he was with Uhura, and the fact that Jim was only having these 'out bursts' was obviously just because of the transfer. Once the effects wore off Jim would no doubt behave as he always had. He ignored the tightening in his chest, thinking it had nothing to do with the thought of Jim leaving him alone and begin chasing after the female populous once again. There was no way that the _memories_ could have been real, they could have just been wishful thinking. Though he couldn't explain why he would have such illogical thoughts that would manifest so deeply. Looking to Nyota as she watched him play she was smart, lovely, and a logical choice. Then why did he not feel the need to be with her? As he finished the song he let the last note carry then put the instrument down turning back to the woman. "Was that satisfactory?"

"It was lovely," She smiled leaning into the Vulcan.

Spock let her get closer ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of his mind, as her lips pressed against his, he was slow to respond. She made up for the lack of response pulling Spock down over her, her tongue making shy passes over his lips. Spock tried to put forth more into the kiss meeting her tongue with his own causing her to moan. She pulled at his shoulders but the touch was off to him it was soft, her body was softer it all seemed _wrong_. As a thought of another time him and Jim in this position bodies pressed against each other as if to occupy the same space, and hand holding tight to where there was no thought of trying to move away. Lips meeting in quick hot passes teeth hitting at odd times, and Spock bitting at Jim's bottom lip pulling moans from the man and ,"Spock stop!"

Opening his eyes quickly he realized his error catching himself as he stood far to quickly. Uhura pulled herself up panting for breath rubbing her lip, looking at him as if he was possessed.

"What was that Spock?" Nyota snapped.

"I apologize Nyota," he couldn't look her in the eye, and the only thought was that in his mind was that he had thought she was Jim, "I do not know what came over me." the guilt began to well up in him that he had wished it was Jim, and that split second of disappointment when he saw it was Nyota.

She stood looking at him, aware that he wasn't meeting her gaze, "It's fine." They stood in silence Uhura not sure of what to say, and Spock not wanting to speak at all. "I think I'm going to turn in for the night," she moved for the door Spock walked her out, "Goodnight Spock."

"Sleep well Nyota," Spock said in a even voice still not looking to her.

As she walked down the corridor, Spock went into his rooms and began to meditate, the feelings of guilt were pressing on him far to hard for him to cope with by himself.

-

After two hours of sitting in the doctor's office and five drinks of that same green liquor, Jim was half asleep on McCoy's desk head pillowed on the crook of his arm eyes still focused on the liquid. "Bones," Jim's said in a slow hushed tone.

"Yes," McCoy answered.

"I have a problem," Jim took a quick look at his friend, "I think I'm falling for someone."

Bones focused on his friend, "Anyone I know?"

"Spock," the name came out just above a whisper.

McCoy downed the rest of his drink, "Well damn."

-

-tbc

A/N: yes I know I suck hard core, but I have major ADD sometimes lol and plus the whole hand thing, and I couldn't seem to find any time to write (2yr old aren't vary cooperative) yes I know all excuses I know but I think I figured something out that might make updating a little more frequent. I hope I haven't completely alienated to many of you by my obvious update deficiency.

So hope you like and see ya next ^.^


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